A Tale of Two Presidents (hint, they both have Muslim sounding names)

There is little truth to be found in the realm of politics. From quoting Thomas Paine with words he never said to referring to Western Europe as a failed Socialist Bureaucracy, Republicans have done an incredible job of painting an imaginary version of the way the world actually is. But their greatest work to date, is the imaginary version of Obama they have created out of the clay of logical fallacies; an Obama who many Americans have embraced with hallelujahs and pitchforks.

If there is an imaginary version of Obama, there is a real Obama, and my objective in this post is to separate the real Obama from the imaginary Obama.

I want to start with a description of the imaginary Obama. The imaginary Obama is a guy who says he's Christian but who everyone knows is really a secret Muslim working for Al Qaeda. He is a Nazi, who also happens to be a Fascist, Communist, Socialist, Marxist, Maoist, Anti-American terrorist. The imaginary Obama is a person who secretly, for the past 30 years, has been causing the gap in economic inequality to grow through the "failed" Socialist policies he has implemented over the course of his three year Presidency. Worst of all, he doesn't believe in work and wants America to become an entitlement society where everyone is dependent on the government and everyone receives the same reward --no matter how hard they work.

Imaginary Obama hates America and everything it stands for and showed his true colors when he went around the world apologizing for America and befriending Communist dictators like Hugo Chavez. The imaginary Obama has a clear objective to destroy America and turn us into an Islamofascist caliphate. Imaginary Obama, because he has been President for the past three years, is responsible for everything bad that has happened in America over the past 30 years. To put it bluntly, Imaginary Obama is the greatest threat the US has ever seen since... Bill Clinton! And if we don't get him out of the White House soon, by voting Republican, America will literally cease to exist in 2012.

When placed next to the conspiracy theorists who believe the world is going to end in 2012, the imaginary Obama conspirators possibly have less credibility but they both are equally stupid. Now that we have heard the version of Obama invented by the Tin-Foil-Hat Society, let's analyze the real Obama.

The real Obama is a faithful Christian who has attended the same church for over 20 years and he is an American Liberal, which, is the antithesis of being a Nazi, Fascist, Communist, or any of the ridiculous titles that are often attributed to him. For 30 years before he became President, the American Dream had been deteriorating because of a political system rigged in favor of the top income earners and he has been working tirelessly throughout his entire Presidency to return America to the system of fairness and equal opportunity that it enjoyed before the implementation of our current corrupt system. Because of his "Socialist" policies, America has had 22 consecutive months of private sector job growth and has avoided falling into a second great depression. His policies do not represent simply taking from the rich and giving to the poor; his policies represent his sincere belief that every one deserves a fair shot to achieve their full potential, regardless of what social class they are born into.

The real Obama loves America through and through, because he understands what real American ideals are truly about. For the past decade, Republicans have created a high level of hatred and animosity towards the US, through inhumane military actions, and a complete disregard for our neighbors in Central and South America. When Obama traveled the world seeking to improve US international relationships (which have improved greatly since he has been President), he wasn't apologizing for America, he was seeking to undo the damage that has been done to the US image by warmongering Republicans who have done little more than oppress other nations and place America's national security at risk for the past 20 years.

The truth is that as long as he remains President after 2012, America's economic recovery will be complete and eventually our relationships with nations around the world will become relationships of peace and mutual prosperity.

The Republicans would like Americans to believe in their imaginary Obama so they can regain the political power that they lost and so they can go back to destroying the American Dream and America's international relationships but when all is said and done, people see who the real Obama is, and though they are  unhappy that he hasn't been able to fulfill all of his promises, the path of peace and economic opportunity that he wants to take America down is much brighter than the path of perpetual war and economic imprisonment that Republicans want to take America down. Republicans know that his ideals are much more appealing and popular than theirs and that is why they have created out of desperation, the imaginary Obama.